1. Pick your battles. With the kids, over clothes, food, bath time, and friends; with your Ex over child support, child rearing, and visitation; with Public Service Agencies over paperwork, caseworker attitudes, benefits. Finally with your extended family over living up to their expectations and holidays.
2. Prioritize your life. Decide on five important areas in your life (i.e. yourself, children, career, social life, church, volunteering, etc.). Put them in order from most to least important and within each area decide what activities you normally engage in, then prioritize. If it is not a priority, say ‘no’. Decide later if it is worth adding to your list of priorities.
3. Stay Focused. Set goals. When you get sidetracked get back on track. Post your goals, daily routines, and appointments where you can see them.
4. Ask for help. From trusted family and friends with the children, automobile maintenance and repair, occasional financial obligations, and limited decision making (advice)
5. Talk out your feelings. With trusted friends or a counselor. Bottled up emotions will eventually explode. Get them out ASAP!
6. Step back when overwhelmed. It is better to walk away for a little while than to stay too long and overload. Know when to say when.
7. Take a day off (forget responsibilities). It’s okay to take a day for yourself. If you feel too guilty, take a half-day. Those few hours will do wonders for your soul. Use the time to pamper yourself. When the mommy feels good, everyone else feels good too!
8. Have dreams, set goals. Life without dreams can be hopeless so dare to dream. But don’t just stop there. Set attainable goals and remember to note the details of those goals in the process. The when, where, and how of the goal will keep you on track in your effort to reach them.
9. Maintain friendships. Friends are so important. Don’t forget the old ones and never be afraid to make new ones. They enrich your life and help you remember that you are still an adult. Another important thing about friendship is learning how to be a friend. There is trust, loyalty, and commitment involved and you must possess these traits for long lasting friendship, but it is worth it.
10. Realize the freedom you have. Being a single mother gives you so much freedom. You make the decisions and you don’t have to answer to anyone. You can pick up and go when you want to (with careful planning) and you are free to be or at least discover who you are as an individual. Take advantage of your freedom.
11. Learn from mistakes. What good are mistakes if you don’t learn from them? They are bound to come up again if you don’t correct the problem the first time. There are some things that are hard to grasp the first time around and we may not even realize that it is a problem, but if it comes around over and over again you should recognize that something is probably wrong somewhere. Learning and growing is a never-ending process so get a clue as soon as possible and save yourself a lot of aggravation.
12. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Even though you make mistakes don’t be too hard on yourself. Being human means that you won’t be perfect so accept it and move on. You will be much happier and you will give your self-esteem a positive break.
13. Forgive yourself. It is okay to ask God to forgive you or to ask others to forgive you, but it is more important that you forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself gives you freedom from guilt and pain and it helps you move on with life in a positive way. You can be your own worst enemy so forgive yourself and choose to be happy with your decision and the rest of your life.
14. Follow your own path. There is a certain path that everyone must take for himself or herself. Following someone else’s path for your life can lead you down a long road full of sorrows. Pray for guidance in finding your own path and believe that God is directing you. When you find yourself taking a detour, have the courage to stop, turn around, and get back on your true path.
15. Resolve personal issues one at a time. There are some things in life that need specialized attention and resolving past issues is one of them. If you try to tackle more than one issue at a time, you run the risk of becoming overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and even depressed because you can’t see progress.
More: Mother rights
2. Prioritize your life. Decide on five important areas in your life (i.e. yourself, children, career, social life, church, volunteering, etc.). Put them in order from most to least important and within each area decide what activities you normally engage in, then prioritize. If it is not a priority, say ‘no’. Decide later if it is worth adding to your list of priorities.
3. Stay Focused. Set goals. When you get sidetracked get back on track. Post your goals, daily routines, and appointments where you can see them.
4. Ask for help. From trusted family and friends with the children, automobile maintenance and repair, occasional financial obligations, and limited decision making (advice)
5. Talk out your feelings. With trusted friends or a counselor. Bottled up emotions will eventually explode. Get them out ASAP!
6. Step back when overwhelmed. It is better to walk away for a little while than to stay too long and overload. Know when to say when.
7. Take a day off (forget responsibilities). It’s okay to take a day for yourself. If you feel too guilty, take a half-day. Those few hours will do wonders for your soul. Use the time to pamper yourself. When the mommy feels good, everyone else feels good too!
8. Have dreams, set goals. Life without dreams can be hopeless so dare to dream. But don’t just stop there. Set attainable goals and remember to note the details of those goals in the process. The when, where, and how of the goal will keep you on track in your effort to reach them.
9. Maintain friendships. Friends are so important. Don’t forget the old ones and never be afraid to make new ones. They enrich your life and help you remember that you are still an adult. Another important thing about friendship is learning how to be a friend. There is trust, loyalty, and commitment involved and you must possess these traits for long lasting friendship, but it is worth it.
10. Realize the freedom you have. Being a single mother gives you so much freedom. You make the decisions and you don’t have to answer to anyone. You can pick up and go when you want to (with careful planning) and you are free to be or at least discover who you are as an individual. Take advantage of your freedom.
11. Learn from mistakes. What good are mistakes if you don’t learn from them? They are bound to come up again if you don’t correct the problem the first time. There are some things that are hard to grasp the first time around and we may not even realize that it is a problem, but if it comes around over and over again you should recognize that something is probably wrong somewhere. Learning and growing is a never-ending process so get a clue as soon as possible and save yourself a lot of aggravation.
12. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Even though you make mistakes don’t be too hard on yourself. Being human means that you won’t be perfect so accept it and move on. You will be much happier and you will give your self-esteem a positive break.
13. Forgive yourself. It is okay to ask God to forgive you or to ask others to forgive you, but it is more important that you forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself gives you freedom from guilt and pain and it helps you move on with life in a positive way. You can be your own worst enemy so forgive yourself and choose to be happy with your decision and the rest of your life.
14. Follow your own path. There is a certain path that everyone must take for himself or herself. Following someone else’s path for your life can lead you down a long road full of sorrows. Pray for guidance in finding your own path and believe that God is directing you. When you find yourself taking a detour, have the courage to stop, turn around, and get back on your true path.
15. Resolve personal issues one at a time. There are some things in life that need specialized attention and resolving past issues is one of them. If you try to tackle more than one issue at a time, you run the risk of becoming overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and even depressed because you can’t see progress.
More: Mother rights
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